In this series of posts, we’ll be bringing you glimpses into the devising process for The Trojan Women Project. The thirteen performers involved often wrote poems, songs, dialogues, and movement pieces on the theme and ideas being explored in the rehearsal room. Sometimes they were created in the spur of the moment and other times director Rachel Hynes gave them prompts to go away and work on and then return with material. This piece was written by Suzy Alden who played Jenny to explore the idea of “women’s language.”
FEEL
by Suzy Alden
“Women are too emotional.”
“Women are driven by feeling.”
These words intend to dismiss, to invalidate.
…
I feel dismissed
I feel unworthy
I feel used – for advertising, commercialism, as a tool, as a plaything
I feel both righteous anger for my enemies, confused and misguided, championing what is not good; then, even stronger, I feel pity and sadness
I feel responsibility to stand up and defend, make myself be heard
I feel at a loss of how to do better, how to make people understand and want to change
To feel is health; is freedom; is good; is to experience the world
If I feel, I can care
I allow myself to feel, to care to a dangerous level
I feel for my loved ones, who I want to protect from harm
I feel for my sisters, stifled and undervalued, misunderstood and unrecognized
I feel for the world that is daunted by us, by truth, by becoming vulnerable, who is afraid to speak out
You are not the enemy, misguided ideals are. You can be our allies.
I feel passion for goodness, for life, for the divine, for myself, for the simple act of feeling
It is my great asset
I feel enthusiasm for intricate details of life, for fully understanding it
It swirls within and up
Bubbling and frothing with insatiable potential energy, this lava
Building beneath the surface, ready to burst out and do something or make something or share something extraordinary, to make others understand, but not yet finding an outlet
I feel the desire to commit fully to anything and anyone who will commit the same level in return
I feel the need to share my soul
It is powerful
It is dangerous
It can be deadly
It can be beautiful
I feel and thus I can give, I can look outward, I can live
I am a hurricane.
Can you handle the winds?